Welcome to the official excuse area
It is a long and noble tradition within the climbing fraternity that failure to complete a climb is never, and we mean never, a lack of climbing ability, but always due to some uncontrollable circumstance.
The following list are some of our favourite entries left by Climbers at Craggy in an open 'Excuse Book' we leave for our customers.
We hope you enjoy them. . . we certainly do and use them ourselves. Thank you!
The holds are too far away.
Since there is no 'Parmolive' in the gents for smoothing my skin post climb, my hands have become cracked and calloused, weeping and sore and because of this I'm unable to to the V1000 on the bouldering wall!
I think I may have measles.
My finger gor caught between a shot on goal and my hocky stick and is so currently the wrong size and shape to be climbing with.
I am suffering from an excess of gravity.
My dog ate my rope.
I ate my dog.
I'm a weak feeble designer with no stamina and delicate fingers.
My name is Borat.
Help! I am stuck at the top of route 46!
Was practicing my falling technique.
Cake.
I have the plague.
My boobs wouldn't go over the overhang.
I just couldn't be bothered!
I'm clinically dead. . .
Stick a fork in me - I'm done.
I've been working outside all week and I'm full of rain.
I have the wrong pants on.
The man in tiny shorts put me off.
I was rubbish to make Dan look good!
It was too windy outside - I am really sensitive to the weather.
I'm actually from the planet Xelan where the gravity is 10x weaker. I am still getting used to the gravitational field on Earth.
I've thin skin.
Too many fit guys to watch.
I'm going on holiday tomorrow and Frank wanted to nail the 7a on the comp wall, so I lent him my climbing skills.
I'm too much of a beefcake to climb effectively.
Climbing in a group of cavers!
My belayer scares me.
How am I supposed to do this using Yellow?
Only just found that they sell Anti Gravity chalk upstairs. Everyone but me has some.
Too many scouts!
I'm a potato.
I'm too slimy.
I was reciting lyrics from the Sound of Music when a parrot flew in through the up and over door and buggered off with my chalk ball.
I am scared of rocks and colours.
I am suffering from pre-traumaic stress disorder.
Pie.
Routes are too airy.
My belay bunny has mixamatosis.
My belay bunny has halitosis.
One of the holds had spun round making the climb much harder than it should be. . .
My arms were tired because I had to lift up a Defended Land Rover as we had a put on big suspension things the jack didn't fit. (true!)
You played Girls Aloud once too often.
I haven't got any muscles.
I wanted to do it but I didn't like he colour of the holds.
10 pints of Guiness and a packet of crisps.
I am on holiday.
Someone turned off Bob Marley.
I was going to chip my bright pink nail varnish.
I can't climb up for falling down.
Girls! Girls! Girls!
Shortness.
Tight jeans.
Writing history revision notes cramped my hand.
I laughed so much I fell off.
I'm destined for greatness. . . I'm just pacing myself.
I used to be a lot better than this. . .
High gravity day.
I can climb really - but I wouldn't want the men to feel inadequate.
Spandex!
My rope was too heavy.
My ego was weighing me down.
Mmmmmmmmmm donuts.